Does speaking in riddles come naturally to a person once he reaches a certain age, I wonder? How about the habit of waxing philosophical and spouting rhetoric whenever he is speaking?
Living among humans for extended periods of time can probably have that effect on some people. I say “humans” because even though you are aware that you are part of the species, you cannot shake off the feeling that they are somehow alien to you. Living inside one of these human shells for decades does not give us any better understanding of what we are, what we do and why we do it. We remain a mystery to ourselves. It is perhaps when we notice this mysterious nature of our own selves that we start questioning everything else around us. If I don’t understand myself, how can I say I have understood something that is not me? But how can I possibly understand my complex self, when I do not understand the simple things around me? This is what drives people to question themselves and the world, everything from the tiny atom to the universe on the whole. Some people ask: why bother? Why not? I cannot think of any better way to use my time than in wondering why things are a certain way. It is a most fascinating process if you try doing it, and I am addicted to it. Life only seems like a series of distractions to draw my attention away from this constant questioning, and this thirst for knowledge. It has been some time since I have even had the luxury to spend time thinking about things that do and do not matter. It feels good to have the company of my own thoughts again.
A character in a movie I was watching this morning asked another who gave the a quaint tidbit of information about something nobody would even give a second thought to: “Why do you even know that?”. I don’t know what the character in the movie said, but if someone were to ask me the same question, my answer is simple.. because I want to know. Not because I find it particularly useful or that it would help me in any way right now.. but who knows when I might find it useful? Even if I don’t, the mere knowledge of knowledge is something I find comforting.
If you look at the trend of my internet searches over the last 6 months, you will find that there are some patterns. That is to be expected, as I do have a few things that interest me more than others. But those keywords that do not fall under any regular pattern are so diverse and unrelated, that sometimes I myself wonder what drove me to look for them. There are too many to count, and to remember. Would I be able to retain all that knowledge? Of course not. It is my father who is called a walking Encyclopedia, not me. I have a terrible memory, and might even forget something I read about this morning. But then, I may not. Not if it made a strong impression on me.
So, confronted with so many questions every day, and so many new things to question.. what can I do, but wonder? Who can blame me if I speak in riddles, for someone else to answer for me?